After a month off of work before transitioning to my new position and I can honestly say, I’ve missed this. Roll out of bed, get semi-dressed, grab my coffee and log into the morning Zoom Call. It is July of 2020 and we are still working from home ladies and gentlemen…and I think I’ve accepted the reality the situation I’m in. I spent my time, reading, learning, and recentering on myself. It was a much-needed task and has done me wonders emotionally.
But nonetheless, I’ve been feeling a bit distracted lately and I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually distracted or if I’m just shifting my energy. Even as I write this my mind has wandered someplace else—Saturday I went to write this post and ended up writing poetry. I ended up submitting some of my work into a contest. I ended up cleaning and decorating my apartment. And this morning I ended up making some amazing coffee, and filling up an ice tray of coffee cubes for later.
Sometimes when you’re distracted too much you have to wonder, “What are my priorities here? What should I be doing now, rather than later?”
I don’t know about anyone else, but personally I will work my butt to the bone to finish a task but things feel different when you start to let your body and soul tell you what to do. I’ve been trying to make this commitment of always giving my 100% but I will only give my energy away when I need to and when I can. That might seem a little selfish to some. Make no mistake, I will always be that empathetic person who will drop anything for you, bring you the Latte and support you may need. I am simply redistributing my energy to a less stressful place. If I take too long doing my make-up and getting ready for work, I will just make my coffee while I’m in my morning meeting. I will be listening and participating as much as I can as I pour hot coffee over ice and take the first sip of the day.
For the first time in forever, I haven’t stressed out about being late or fucking up because honestly? It’s going to happen so I might as well take a breath, laugh, apologize and do better next time. I don’t know how this happened or how long this feeling will last. I still have panic attacks and I’m still a hot mess of human being, however there are so many bigger giants to battle and the little things can wait—Systematic Racism and Police Brutality, COVID19, Human Trafficking—just to name a few.
I have been very distracted lately, thinking about what my priorities are in the now because we still don’t have an answer about what next month will look like, or even next year. If you’re feeling drained, spend some coffee time, just sipping and redistributing your energy to what really matters to you.
Happy Caffeination Friends! Stay Safe, Healthy, and as always be Kind! ❤
P.S—We are still in a pandemic. Wear a mask. Distance yourself socially. Black Lives Still Matter despite what your social media looks like. And if you go out, support local and tip generously as possible!