Coffee Stained Lens: Acknowledging my WFH Demon

I know this is a privilege to say, and I need to count my blessings each day, but I’m so tired of working remotely. I want to go back into the schools. I want to go to long training days and have lunch with my work bestie. I want to go to on coffee runs on my break. But most of all, I want some structure. I want to wake up at a decent time, put coffee in mug, and run out the door to catch the bus for my 10-hour day, where I will have a scheduled 30-minute lunch……

Except, do I?

Like, really? Yeah, I want the social aspects of my job back, and I want to end my year out with my students, right. I still want to have lunch with my friends and go on coffee runs. But how early is a “decent time”? Because I used to get up before the sun rose and would end up spilling my coffee down my pant leg at least twice a week. As much as I wouldn’t have traded my job for anything, my day of service would end after the sun set in the winter, and my lunch? It was at 10:30am. And while I’m the type of person that will do this no matter how painful, if it means I’m making an impact, my attitude towards work wasn’t necessarily the best.

My outlook on work—and life in general—was work hard, play hard. Going hard gives me an awful sense of security in life and allows me to rest easy at night because I could feel myself exhausted from doing my best. But now, there’s only so much I can do before I’m faced with this demon: my workaholism. Thanks, COVID.

I have a feeling that many people might be feeling the same. We’re realizing that society has placed these shitty chains on us that says we need to work to be productive and we need to put our full force in everything we do. Not everything needs that energy though, and to be honest, it’s an ableist way of thinking. You can be just as valuable listening to your wife vent and telling your nephew about how light works.

Passion is a great thing to have, and I’m proud to say that I’m a passionate person. But work shouldn’t be a personality trait. Nor is it. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: your professional skills don’t make you, you.

So now that I realize I have a problem, how do I swallow this hard pill to help?

To be honest, I have no answer. I’m clueless. But I think for me taking some time to just be wouldn’t be bad. Taking some time to remember that everything is temporary and that our world is going to change, but for good in the end. Personally, I have a lot of reflecting and learning about myself.

So this morning, start off at a decent hour—for me that’s about 8 or 9—grab a fresh cup of coffee, and center yourself:

Feel your arms and legs, and just breathe.

Happy Caffeination, Friends! Stay safe and healthy. As always, be kind!

P.S.

Something that I did when I would sense myself feeding off of others’ bad energy at work is this excellent mindfulness activity:

Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you physically feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

One Reply to “Coffee Stained Lens: Acknowledging my WFH Demon”

  1. I’m starting to feel the same way. It’s going to be 2 months for me soon working from home. The thought was amazing, and the first few days of it were a breath of change, but now I wish I could switch things up a little bit. I can’t work somewhere else, like a cafe or somewhere outdoor now that the weather is getting nicer. I remind myself every day to not let things mentally get to me and talk to as many friends as possible every week. The new normal has definitely morphed different since all of this started.

    Liked by 1 person

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