Stressful days like today make me think back to a better place in time where I could sit and take a breath and drink my drink in peace. Tonight, I look back on my weekend in joy. In joy because of the company and drinks I experienced.
Friday night, I received a message about meeting up with some work friends Saturday morning to work on grad school applications. I was hesitant at first. Did I really want to get up, hop on the bus, and go to some coffeeshop to do work? Did I want to do this with people I just met a few months ago? The answer should always be a “yes” so loud your neighbors can feel your excitement, right? So, while I wanted to pass, I hopped on the bus on a Saturday morning to work on my grad school applications with a couple people that I’ve grown to know and love dearly over this short amount time.
We sat in the corner under low lighting. Laptops and GRE books scattered across the table. There is a phone plugged into the outlet next to me but the phone is not mine. And this is where I feel like I never left school. This is where I am back to my writing classes getting coffee at 6pm. This is where I’m trying not to overrun the library desk that I’m supposed to be manning with my essays and 20 page journal article. This is what I call home to my productivity. I can’t tell you I finished and turned in an application that day. But I can tell you that it felt right. It felt so right to prepare for grad school. It felt like I was finally committing to what I’m supposed to be doing: becoming a librarian.
I know, it seems small. I know—it might look like I’m just crumbling back into academia and maybe I am. But there was something so calming and pleasing about making that definite step into a direction. Perhaps something else will come up and things will change because they always do, but while I sipped my Maple Latte this past Saturday surrounded by people who were also taking a step into their futures, I knew everything was going to be alright.